I guess I finally understand why my mom always say..
"The social network is a dangerous place."
Yeah mom.
Dangerous enough to get hurt.
I should quit twitter one day, its suffocating looking at all these things.
Being fine one moment and breaking down the next.
I can say it is a place for me to learn to be strong.
To train my tolerance and patience.
But it is also a place to know the people who I care about,
don't appreciate me as much as I do.
One moment it was him, and now her?
The feeling of being replace, yet still not giving up.
How long am I going to endure this?
I'm not okay tonight.
As much as I can pretend to be.
Inside, I'm close enough to shattering into pieces.
Its 1:30am.
Those who can really be there for me are fast asleep.
I cant possibly wake them up just to make myself feel better,
what kind of horrible person does that?
I wont give up on her, I cant.
I understand being in her shoes isn't easy, but she has to understand mine too. right..?
I'd most probably wake up with a wet pillow,
but keeping it in would just build a deeper wound in me.
"Tears are made out of 1% water and 99% feelings"
I guess its okay to let some out tonight.
Lets just hope I could fall asleep without counting to thousands.
Without crouching up in a ball,
trying to hold my chest so it wouldn't hurt that much when i cry.
Lets just hope I dont wake up being questioned why my eyes are red and puffy.
Without...without remembering what has happened.
If I had a wish, I wouldn't wish to be smart or have smooth skin.
Be taller or have bigger eyes.
Slim down or even.. be rich.
I'd wish I could forget what has happened in the past or.. if possible.. restart life.
God bless me, tomorrow will be a better day.
promise me.
please.

xx