Beyond boundaries.








Beyond boundaries.
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Saturday, October 13, 2012
Cold day.

What is this?
One minute I feel like this, the next minute I feel like that.....
So what now?
Omagerrrd!
STOP INTERRUPTING ME AT THE WRONG TIME!
Its freaking finals!
I can feel my marks flying away from my arms..
Need to stop thinking about craps and start focusing on things that are more important.


I get sad and angry when you don't talk to me.

but my mind tells me :
"Get over it lah celine, just forget him already. What are you thinking of? Trying to get in a relationship when you know your mom will kill you? When you know you're not even ready for these things? Are you sure you can handle this again? You dont want this to effect your studies dont you? Stay focus to what decisions you've made. Remember thinking of what will happen if something goes wrong between both of you? Things will be ALL AWKWARD AGAIN. You dont want that do you? Plus he is not worth it. Talking to you only when he wants to? And when he talks to you he is all clingy... and when doesnt talk to you that makes him not clingy.......?"

and then my heart tells me :
"You know you like him! Just admit it! You find yourself thinking of him most of the time. Worrying, caring... Take the risk! Its highschool! (novette's words) He is trying really hard to get you. Plus maybe the reasons why he's not talking to you is because he really wants to give you time to focus on your studies? or maybe he is just really busy? don't jump to conclusions. There's always a reason to everything."

but then my mind says :
"Whats the benefit of getting in a relationship in highschool? You can get into a billion relationships in collage or uni, you should focus on your studies now! build a strong foundation for your future! Getting in a relationship only increases the rate of your moodswings, make you cry alot more, lowers your confidence, increases stress, more arguments will come, pulls you away from your family, less time spent with your friends, pulls you away from your studies, increases the rate of you getting knocked-up.... et cetera,  et cetera (etc.)"

and then my heart says :
"Have you thought about his feelings? How selfish can you be? Thinking of only yourself? Soon he is gonna give up on you and then you'll forever be lonely!"

but then my mind says :
"Have HE think about her feelings! Talking to her whenever he feels like it? And have you seen the way he talked to THAT GIRL. Celine is just not good enough for him. Plus she is so selfish! What makes you think he would want her? Yes she is selfish! It's for her own good! So she doesn't get hurt like you do! Stupid heart!"

and then my heart says, but then my mind says, and then my heart says, but then my mind says...
and it goes on, and on, and on.....!

WHAT THE FUCK IS MY BODY TRYING TO DO TO ME?
It's like I can hear them talking at the back of my head!
I'd pull out all of my hair now if hair can grow back instantly!

God damn it.